alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
