A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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