How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
now i know why i became what i already was.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
