so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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