His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
