It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We are two peas in an std pod
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
