either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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