Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
