This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
The beer is more important than you right now.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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