Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
