I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
