areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
