Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
