I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You are a genius and a whore.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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