ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
