I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Man, jail baloney is awful.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
