1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Its about making memories worth repressing
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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