I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
