The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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