is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
