what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
