I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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