and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
