i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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