We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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