My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
