ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
