went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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