So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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