guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
