My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
