He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
