dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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