a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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