I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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