Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
