Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
