you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
