Princesses don't give blow jobs
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
