it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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