Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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