My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
