At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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