My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
