Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
i've created a new STD.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
