i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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