i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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