Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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