My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
