i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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